We’re excited to introduce “Emotional Intelligence (EI) Fridays” on the blog, where we will hone in on how to develop and implement these softer skills.
Our first topic of focus will be listening, a critical skill for doctors, lawyers, and (future) CEOs alike. We hope you enjoy this three-part series.
In our rushed and noisy daily lives, it has become common to use the words “hear” and “listen” interchangeably. We ask, “Can you hear me?” presuming that if a person can hear us, they’re listening. But, Julian Treasure, author of How to be Heard: Secrets of Powerful Speaking and Listening, provides us with a key point of differentiation between the two in his Ted Talk on Conscious Listening. “My definition of listening is making meaning from sound. All the sound around us. And there are three stages to that process. The first stage is a physical stage: sound waves hit your body. All over. But in particular, they go deep inside your head, and the sound waves touch your eardrums. In the second stage, that physical relationship is translated into neural activity, electrical activity in the brain. In the third part of the process, mental activity takes place and that, I suggest, is when listening really happens,” he said.
This definition is important because it makes clear that listening goes beyond the physical act of hearing. For many, we have so conflated the two that we assume that not only do we know how to listen properly, but that we’re good at it. Yes, we say, I can hear you. But hearing doesn’t mean listening.
In fact, a good portion of us are not listening much at all, and we don’t even realize it. An Accenture study found that 96 percent of global professionals surveyed believe they are good listeners. But another study, described in Scientific American, found that, directly after listening to a 10-minute talk, about half of adult participants could not describe the talk’s subject matter and after 48 hours that percentage ballooned to 75 percent. In the Harvard Business Review, Tijs Besieux reported that, “Studies show people are distracted, forgetful, or preoccupied 75% of the time when listening.” The magnitude of that 75 percent increases upon consideration of how much of the workday is spent listening. On the Wharton Business Daily podcast, Oscar Trimboli, author of How to Listen: Discover the Hidden Key to Better Communication, said that 55 percent of most people’s workdays are spent listening. And that percentage increases along with seniority. For most managers, listening makes up 63 percent of the day, and for executives, a whooping 83 percent.
Because most people consider listening as a physical sense rather than a skill, it is rare to receive formal training on how to listen. Besieux wrote, “Less than two percent of the worldwide population has received formal education on listening effectively, and research points to a ‘crisis in listening’ as organizations spend 80 percent of their corporate communication resources on speaking.” This lack of instruction becomes more poignant when combined with workplaces that tend to be rife with distractions that make conscious listening difficult—Accenture found that 98 percent of global respondents spend at least part of their day multitasking—and reward decisive action more than mindful listening.
Regardless of your field, the “crisis in listening” affects you. Dr. Howard Luks, orthopedic surgeon and sports medicine specialist, wrote in his blog, “Most patients are interrupted by their physicians after 18 seconds. Yes, 18 seconds. Poor communication and listening skills are likely at the heart of this emerging high-tech, low-touch method of treating patients these days. Physicians feel rushed because they’re trying to maintain their income as their reimbursements decline and they need to spend more time filling out reams of paperwork to justify many of their requests or actions.” Fiona Martin, Director and Head of Employment Law at Martin Searle Solicitors, highlighted a similar challenge. “Every lawyer knows that understanding client needs is an essential part of the service. Too often, the process is geared to identifying what legal services can be provided. Instead of really listening to what the client is saying, you’re waiting for them to stop talking so that you can get started,” she told Law Firm Ambition. And according to the Accenture study referenced earlier, 64 percent of global respondents felt that the digital workplace has made listening significantly more difficult, and 36 percent said “the many distractions prevent them from doing their best, resulting in a loss of focus, lower-quality work, and diminished team relationships.”
